Episode 10 – Maui, His Brother Maui, and His Other Brother Maui

Episode 10 Show Notes

Source: Polynesian Mythology

This week on MYTH, it’s a Polynesian demigod with a big fishhook and a bigger ego.  This is the first episode in our 3-episode series called “Disney Lied to Me,” where I’ll be taking a famous Disney musical and ruining it by telling you the sexual, blood-soaked story behind the singing animals.  In this episode, you’ll discover that casting your infant into the sea can give them magic powers, that Maui would do anything for love, including that, and that screwing up a ritual can have dire effects.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s the sexy seductress who might also be a giant lizard.  This is the Myths Your Teacher Hated podcast, where I tell the stories of cultures around the world in all of their original, bloody, uncensored glory.  Modern tellings of these stories have become dry and dusty, but I’ll be trying to breathe new life into them.  This is Episode 10, “Maui, His Brother Maui, and His Other Brother Maui”.  As always, this episode is not safe for work.

  • Many of the Polynesian cultures (Maori, Hawaiian, Tongan, Tahitian, Mangerevan, and Samoan) have a shared mythology.  The details differ, but the core stories are surprisingly consistent across the thousands of miles of ocean.  This week, we’ll be covering part of the story of the trickster god Maui (and you know how much I love trickster gods).  The Maori version is the most complete, and will be used as the main source for this story.
  • Hina was pregnant again.  She’d had four sons without any problems, but this one was different.  This one was coming early.  She screamed bloody murder in her labor pains and gave birth to a son, but over a month premature.  Hina knew that they boy had no chance of living, and his dying would be painful, so she did the only thing she could do.  She decided to throw him in the ocean to fucking drown.  It was a rough decision, and she didn’t like it, but she didn’t have much choice.  To comfort the boy, she cut off a lock of her topknot (her tikitiki)  and wrapped the infant in it before giving him to Tangaroa, the Ocean.  She didn’t look back as the waves carried the boy away.
  • The world was not yet done with the boy, however, and the spirits of the ocean found the boy.  Seaweed wrapped itself around the boy and gently rocked him to sleep as it carried him along.  Jellyfish floated up and swarmed around him to protect him from the sharks.  Soon, he was carried across the waves and onto a distant beach.  The ocean had less power there, so the birds and the flies swarmed around, waiting for the boy to die so they could rip him shreds and eat his ass.  The ocean spirits went to find Old Man Tame-nui-ke-ti-Rangi (who I’ll call Rangi from now on), the great god of the sun.  The boy became something like a grandson to Tama-nui-te-ra, and he takes the boy with him to his house to warm him up in front of the fire.  The wise old man decides to raise the boy.
  • Maui puts up with being isolated from the world, speaking only with the spirits of the ocean for as long as he can, but eventually he’s going fucking stir crazy (and being a hormonal teenage didn’t help shit).  His grandfather has taught him magic and combat.  The boy was clever, and now knew as much about both as his sun god grandfather.  He demanded of his grandfather to know who his mother is and why she hasn’t come to visit him even once, not even on his fucking birthday.  Granddad tells him about Hina throwing him into the ocean when he was first born, so he thinks maybe she’s an even shittier mother than he first thought.  Granddad explains the situation to the boy, and he decides he can forgive her, but he needs to talk to her.  At around the age of 13, he leaves his idyllic island for home.
  • The teenage emerges from the ocean, lean and tall with the awkwardness grace of a puppy whose paws are still too big for it.  He goes to his mother’s house and decides fuck it.  Instead of knocking, he opens the door and sneaks inside.  He hears the sounds of laughter from the great house of assembly, the marae, and decides to join in.  He finds his four brothers dancing and wrestling with their cousins.  He leaps into the fray and the boys wrestle with this newcomer as determinedly as with each other. 
  • The boy is lean, but strong, and he does well.  “You’re pretty good, man.  I don’t think I’ve seen you before.  Who are you?”  “I’m the son of Hina.”  “Bullshit.  We’re the sons of Hina, and we you’re not one of us,” says the youngest brother.  The younger brother taps him on the shoulder.  The four brothers, Maui-taha, Maui-roto, Maui-pae, and Maui-waho (who for the sake of simplicity from here on out will be called Taha, Roto, Pae, and Waho), confer with each other.  “Actually, Waho, we did have a younger brother who mom doesn’t talk about.  Maybe it’s him.  We should ask her,” said Roto. 
  • About this time, Hina walked in to retrieve her boys.  She was surprised to see five boys sitting there instead of four, but didn’t say anything until she started to leave.  The four boys filed in to leave, and the fifth joined the column.  She walked over to him.  “Who are you?  And why are you trying to come home with me?”  “I’m your son, lady.”  She laughed.  “Bullshit.  I’ve only got four sons.”  “No, mom, you have five.  You wrapped me in a lock of your hair and threw me into the ocean, but I’m back now.  Since everyone else is Maui, I guess that makes me Maui too.  I’m Maui-the-baby.”
  • “Fuck you.  Seriously, who are you?”  “I told you, bitch, I’m Maui-the-baby.  I’m the goddamned son you tried to sacrifice to the ocean!”  Hina got angry.  “Look, you little shit, you are no son of mine.  Get the fuck out of my house, asshole!”
  • Maui stood.  “Alright, I’ll go.  But I’m still your son.  I was born by the seashore.  You threw me into the sea wrapped in your hair.  You thought I would die, but I didn’t.  Tangaroa kept me safe and carried me away to a distant island.  Rangi found me and raised me in his home.   I grew, and I wondered who my mother was, so Granddad sent me here.  I remember the names of my brothers from when I was in your belly (yes, he was a fetus capable of memories spanning decades, but weirder shit is going to happen, just go with it): Taha, Roto, Pae, and Waho.  And me?  I’m Maui the baby.”
  • Hina began to weep.  “Oh my fucking god.  You really are my lost son come back to me!  Your name will be Maui-tiktiki-a-Hina (which means Maui formed in the topknot of Hina) and of course you can stay here!”  And with that, she rushed to her son and grabbed him in a big bear hug and proceeded to thoroughly embarrass him with kisses.
  • Maui’s brothers were a little jealous of all of the attention being lavished on him (which, give me a break guys – he’s been dead for over a decade; give her a little time to be happy before you get all pissy, sheesh), and it got worse when they got back to their home.  Night was falling, and Hina invited Maui to sleep in the big, comfy bed with her (not like that, this isn’t a greek myth).  “Are you fucking serious?  None of us have ever gotten to sleep in the good bed!  This is bullshit.  Fuck that new guy!” 
  • Fortunately, Taha’d had a little time to cool off on the walk home and he’d had enough of this shit.  “Come on guys, let’s not be giant dicks.  So we’ve got a new brother?  So what?  Look how happy it’s made our mother.  Besides, what are the options?  Be mad at him forever and try to fuck him over (also known as exactly what the brothers in a lot of myths would do) or let this go.  I say, let’s be at peace and welcome our new brother.”  The other brothers saw the wisdom in this, and they decided to welcome Maui into their lives as their brother.
  • Maui fell asleep in the most comfortable bed he’d ever been in, and he was content.  The next morning, he woke early, but his mother was gone.  He looked for her, but could not find her.  He woke his brothers to ask where she was.  Pae yawned.  “Fuck if we know.  She does this all the time.  She’ll be back tonight.”  Sure enough, she reappeared as the night fell, with no word of where she’d been.
  • For the next few weeks, this happened every day.  Maui kept trying to figure out where she went, but it never worked.  He even tried to stay up overnight, but he fell asleep near dawn just long enough for his mother to vanish.  After racking his brain, he kept up with an idea.  He went to bed as usual that night, but he only pretended to sleep.  Once the house was quiet, he got up and stole all of his mothers clothes and her apron and used them to block the windows and close up every crack and chink in the house.  When dawn came, no light entered the house and his mother slept on.  Satisfied, Maui climbed into bed and fell asleep.
  • Near noon, Hina woke and stretched.  She felt like she’d slept forever, but it was still dark.  She woke and went to dress, and discovered her missing clothes.  Confused, she looked around, and saw her clothes covering the window.  Panicking, she pulled her dress down and realized that it was full daylight.  “Shit shit shit, I’m late.  I’m so fucking late.” 
  • She pulled on an old cloak and rushed out into the street.  Maui had woken up when his mother was frantically dressing, so he snuck out after her.  He followed her out to a field near the house, and was only a little surprised to see Hina pull up a tuft of grass, revealing a hole in the ground.  She jumped in, pulling the grass back into place after her.  Maui waited a long five count, then rushed out and pulled up the tuft.  Beneath, he saw a long, gently curving passage into the earth.  “I don’t know where I thought she was going, but it sure as shit wasn’t this.”
  • Maui ran back to the house and woke his brothers.  “Wake up, assholes!  Mom’s gone again.  Wanna guess where?  There’s no fucking way you’ll get it.”  No one ventured any guesses.  Maui sighed.  “Where’s your sense of whimsy? Fine, she went into a hole hidden under a tuft of grass.”  “And?  Why should we give a damn, little brother?  We’re happy, bro.  Don’t rock the boat.”
  • Maui, being a trickster god, was cursed with an overactive sense of curiosity and couldn’t leave it alone.  He had to know where the hell his mother kept going.  “Fine.  Be boring if you want.  I’m going to follow her.”  He pulled the tuft of grass aside and looked down.  It was a long, long way down.  He didn’t know how far the hole went, so he used the magic his grandfather had taught him and turned himself into a pigeon.  He flew a long time, and the passage kept going.  Sometimes it was barely wide enough to flap his wings, and sometimes it was so wide he could barely see the edges.  Finally, off in the distance, he saw a grove of manapau trees, with people sitting under them. 
  • Maui flew to the grove and sat on one of the branches.  Up close, he could see that amongst the people under the tree was his mother, sitting with a man.  He looked enough like Maui and his brothers that Maui knew this man was his father.  He hopped to a lower branch to try and hear what they were saying.  He still couldn’t hear anything, and he got bored.  He decided to get his father’s attention.
  • Maui picked one of the berries from the tree, took aim, and dropped it on his father’s head.  The man slapped the berry, then realized what it was.  “Just a berry.  No big deal.”  Maui grabbed another berry, and dropped it on his father’s head again.  And again, and again.  He kept throwing berries until everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at the weird little pigeon raining berries down on everyone.  Annoyed, the people picked up rocks and berries and threw them at Maui to try and make him go the fuck away, but Maui dodged everything and kept throwing berries.
  • Finally, Maui’s father, who was still being pelted with berries, picked up a rock and threw it at the pigeon.  If Maui’s beak could have smiled, it would have.  Bingo.  He carefully stepped in front of the rock so that it hit his left leg.  Maui dropped from the tree, pretending to be much more hurt than he actually was.  The people rushed to catch the falling pigeon, but stopped short when the pigeon abruptly changed into a boy.  “Well shit,” said one man.  “No wonder the fucker was acting so weird.  It wasn’t a damned pigeon at all.  It’s just some boy.”  “No, he’s definitely a god,” said another.  “He just changed from a bird into a person.  That’s not normal.”
  • Hina spoke up.  “Um, I think I might know who this is.  He looks a lot like someone I see when I visit my kids.  Let me ask you, kid.  Where did you come from?  From the west?”  “Nope.”  “From the northeast then?  The southeast?  The south?”  “Keep trying.”  “Was it the wind that blows that brought you here?”  “Getting warmer.”  Tauranga nodded.  Everyone, this is my son, Maui. Maui, this is your father Makeatutara, god of the underworld.  Makeatutara, this is your son.”  “Wait so dad’s a god and you’re human?”  “That wouldn’t be weird, but not honey.  I’m a god too.  That makes you a potential god, too.”
  • Maui’s father, impressed at Maui’s daring and his ability with magic, embraced him.  “Good to see you, son.  You’re pretty cool.  You know what we should do?  We should make you immortal, a full god.  Come with me – I’ll perform the ceremony that has been observed by the fathers of our people for generations.”  He led Maui to the banks of a beautiful stream that flowed through the grove, and the people all followed.  With prayers and sacred incantations, Makeatutara baptized Maui, cleansing him and making him sacred.  Makeatutara was incredibly proud of his new son and was overwhelmed with emotion.  This makes him a better dad than most gods, but it also fucked over Maui because the god of the underworld was distracted and missed part of the prayer. 
  • It wasn’t until he was alone after the ceremony that he realized he had forgotten something super fucking important.  Makeatutara dropped to his knees in despair.  “I’m sorry, son.  I fucked up.  I was so happy about what was happening, that I forgot part of the prayer.  You’re not immortal, my son, and I can’t undo it.  One day, you will surely die.  I’m fucking sorry.  You will be the hero of the peoples of the world, and as you fare, so fares the world.  Since you must someday die, so must they.  Shit, I just got like everyone killed because I fucked up a prayer.”  You’d think he’d have been more serious about it if it had such dire consequences, but he was a little surprised about having a magic son, so maybe he can be forgiven.  He didn’t want to ruin Maui’s day or Hina’s joy at her son returning, so he didn’t tell anyone what he had figured out.
  • Maui grew up to a lanky and less than handsome young man.  His brothers had all found wives and moved out, and his mother had started dropping not so subtle hints that it was time for him to get his ass out of her house and find a wife.  Maui was amiable to this, since he had already fallen deeply in love, or at least in lust, with Rohe, the daughter of the neighboring chief Maru-te-whare-aitu.  She was as beautiful as Maui wasn’t, and neither she nor her father showed any interest in Maui’s offer of courtship. 
  • Maui, undeterred, decided to be persistent.  He went ahead and built the house for them to live in, despite the woman having no interest in him whatsoever.  When the place was finished, he asked her to come with him again.  “Seriously, take no for an answer Maui.”  Maui shrugged.  “Nope, I don’t give up.  Ever.  I’ll just fuck you to you love me.”  And with that, he kidnapped her and used his powerful magic to carry her away to her new home. 
  • She was in awe of this powerful man, and probably more than a little terrified, so she resigned herself to being married to a kidnapper and sexual predator.  Besides, she still had hope that her father could do something about this shit.  Her father, as one might expect, was pissed right the fuck off.  He began planning to crush the insolent Maui for stealing his daughter.  That night, he dreamed a warning, that Maui was too much for him and should be left alone.  He woke and contemplated the dream, but decided fuck it.  He couldn’t just sit around and let this happen. 
  • He had boats built and soldiers readied.  The next day, they would sail to Maui’s island and kill every last motherfucker there in retribution.  Maui, who had been spying on the preparations as a bird, conjured up a massive storm and sent it after his father in law.  The storm tore through the fields and utterly destroyed all of their crops.  That got Maru-te-whare-aitu’s attention.  He realized he was boxing waaaaay above his weight class.  Supposedly, his daughter was happy with her new husband (but probably she was just a decent actress; she would eventually succumb to Stockholm syndrome, but surely not yet), and he decided that war would be the end of his people.  He used the canoes to go out and trade for the food he now desperately needed to avoid starvation.
  • Maui was content, but this is a myth, so that shit can’t last.  He began to have dreams telling him that he would soon be called on to fulfill his destiny as the son of a god.  Maui didn’t know  exactly what form his trials would take, but he figured it would be a good idea to be armed with something as powerful as he was.  Problem was, he had no idea what that would be.  He spent the next few days pacing in front of his house deep in thought.  Everyone left him alone during this time, except for one man who would come by every day at noon with a bundle.  After a few days of this, Maui figured that this bundle was food and wondered who it was for.  The next day, he stopped the man and asked.
  • “Of, it’s for your ancestress Muri-ranga-whenua. She lives in the house over yonder.”  “Huh, never met her.  Tell you what, I’ll take the bundle today.  Give it here.”  The man immediately obeyed and Maui walked off to meet the old woman he was related to.  When he walked in the house, the old woman blinked at him.  Either the dimness or her own bad eyesight kept her from realizing that this was a different dude than usual.  From then on, Maui would stop the man and take the bundle of food in himself.  One day, after establishing this pattern, Muai took the food from the man, but waited most of the day to take it.  Muri-ranga-whenua began to get hangry.   “Where the fuck is that asshole with my food?  I’m nearly hungry enough to eat him along with the fucking meal!”
  • She sniffed the air, and found that no one was near except in the northwest.  From that direction, someone was present, and coming this way.  When she judged him close enough, she shouted “I know you’re there.  Speak up!”  “Wasn’t hiding,” said Maui.  “Behold, Muri-ranga-whenua, I am come!”  “Who are…Maui?  Are you that Maui-tikitiki?”  “In the flesh,” he said with a bow she couldn’t see.  “Lucky for you that I figured out who you were.  If I weren’t related to you, I’d have eaten you whole.  I’m starving!  Why have you tricked me like this?”
  • “Because, old woman, I want you to think about who’s bringing the food instead of the food itself.  I have a favor to ask.”  “And you think starving an old woman is the way to get it?  What do you want?”  “I want the jawbone of my great-ancestor.  Mom says you have it, and I need it to fashion a weapon.”  “Is that all?  Fuck you, asshole, that’s reserved for you anyway.  You didn’t need to starve me for this.  It’s yours.  Just get my food.”  So Maui brought her meal and took the jawbone from the wall where it had been hung.  He shaped and carved it into a massive fishhook that he could use just as easily as a weapon or a tool.
  • Once he was done making his weapon, he thought about what he should do.  He looked up at the sky, which wasn’t hard since the sky was much lower in those days, and rested on the tops of the trees.  I the beginning, the trees had sprouted and pushed the sky, which then rested on the earth, up, making room for man and animals.  The weight pushed the leaves flat, and flat they have remained to this day.  Hina thought that the world would be nicer if the sky and the sun were farther away.  With the sky so low, the sun was blistering in the day and the darkness was impenetrable at night.  She told Maui that this would be a good first test.  He accepted.
  • He went into the foothills of the island, braced himself, and then lifted the sky off of the trees.  Carrying the sky on his shoulders (like Atlas in Greek mythology), he walked up the side of the mountain at the center of the island.  Finally, he reached the peak and with a mighty shove, pushed the sky above the mountain peak. 
  • The clouds were not happy about being forced up away from the earth, and sometimes, when they feel particularly ornery, they fly close to the island, full of piss and vinegar (but more accurately, rain and lightning) to punish the fuckers who get to stay on the land.  They never stay for long, though, because they fear that Maui will come back and shove them even farther away, and they may not be able to return at all.
  • Another day was gone already, and Maui thought that was bullshit.  The days were too short, and there was so much he needed to get done.  He looked around, and noticed that the humans had the same problem.  They worked frantically from sunup to sundown because they had too much to do and no time to do it.  It left little free time to enjoy the day.  Maui liked humans, and besides, he wanted more time too, so he decided to do something about this injustice.  It also upset his mother, Hina, who never seemed to have time to pound out the wet bark into cloth, called kapa, and make food.  It wasn’t just that the days were short, it was that the sun was kind of a dick (see again the main thesis of this podcast, sky gods are assholes).  See, in those days, the sun didn’t slowly rise and set, he would leap suddenly from the horizon to directly overhead; when he grew tired of being in the sky, he would drop just as suddenly back behind the horizon.  No sunrise, no sunset; it was like turning on and off a light switch. 
  • The more Maui thought about this, the more he felt sure that he needed to teach the goddamned sun a lesson.  The sun was powerful, so if he was going to get through to it, Maui was going to have to do something big.  He went to talk to his brothers about his idea.  “Okay, I get the gist of what you want to do Maui, and everyone would certainly appreciate it, but how the fuck are you going to make it work?” asked Taha.  “That’s the best part.  I’m going to make a noose and throw it over the sun in the sky.  Then I’ll drag on the rope to make him go slower.”
  • “That’s insane,” said Waho.  Pae laughed.  “He captured the daughter, so now he can capture the sun?  Dumbass.”  Everyone glared at Pae for that terrible pun.  “Dude, the sun is like, really big and really far away.  How can you possibly catch him with a rope?  And even if you do, the sun will just burn the thing,” added Roto.
  • Maui laughed.  “Bros, you’ve seen me change forms and summon storms.  Do you really think I would propose this if I didn’t think I could do it?  Watch and learn, guys.”  The brothers begrudgingly acknowledged that and agreed to help.  First, they needed the rope.  Maui spoke to his mother, about the problem of making a rope that wouldn’t burn.  She smiled and unbound her hair.  She took a long tress, and cut it off.  “Weave this into your rope, and my magic will keep it strong and safe from fire.”  He  then set his brothers to work twisting, plaiting, and spinning a rope of flax and Hina’s hair, which was the first time anyone had seen the braided rope technique that Maui happily shared with humans.  After days of rope making, they next had to gather enough food and supplies for the trip.  They spent days gathering and bartering for the things Maui needed, but at last they had everything. 
  • Satisfied, Maui led his brothers out to rope the sun.  They traveled all night, and when morning approached, they hid themselves securely in the desert where the sun, who’s name was Tama-nui-te-Ra (not unlike the Egyptians, although the stories differ greatly) wouldn’t be able to see them.  They stayed there all day, hiding and resting, and set out again once night fell.  They traveled like this for weeks, and finally came very close to the place where the sun rises from, the volcano Mt. Iao. 
  • The next night, everyone got to work in the darkness.  They built a large wall of clay, and built huts at the ends of the walls to hide in, disguised with brush to look like the forest.  Maui figured, correctly, that if the sun saw them, he would burn them to a bloody crisp in moments.  The brothers all hid in the hut at one end of the wall, and Maui crouched in readiness in the hut at the other end of the wall.  Not long after they were in place, the light of the sun could be seen rising for his ascent into the sky.  Maui hissed loudly at his brothers, who had become mesmerized by the beauty of the sunrise that could only be seen this close up.  “Get the fuck back in the hut, assholes!  If the sun sees you, you’re toast!”  They jerked back to reality and hid.
  • Moments later, the sun burst up into the sky, and Maui hurled his lasso after it.  It hung frozen in the blue for a long moment, then landed securely about the sun.  The rope tightened, and everyone hauled on the rope, the brothers together on one side, and Maui alone on the other.  Ra realized that he had been caught and began to buck and struggle.  Tying his end of the rope to a tree, Maui took up the magic fishhook, made from the jawbone of his divine ancestor, and proceeded to beat the ever loving shit out of the sun.  The once perfect cylinder of the sun’s edge buckled and twisted into the sharp, irregular rays that it has now. 
  • The sun, in immense pain, began to beg the brothers to let him go.  Fortunately, Maui had warned them that Ra might do this, and they ignored him, though it made them weep to hear the sun beg so piteously.  Finally, the sun turned to Maui.  “Why?  Why are you doing this?  Are you trying to murder me?  What did I ever do to you?”  “You move too fast across the sky.  The days need to be longer, and the mornings and evenings slower so that men and women have time to enjoy the light, and so they can wake up more gently and end the days labors more easily.  So take it down a notch, Ra, or I’ll be back and beat the shit out of you again.  Capiche?”  Ra, terrified, agreed, and to this day, it always hesitates at the horizon, afraid that Maui is waiting for him.
  • Maui is an interesting character with some fascinating, if wildly inconsistent tales.  Hina, his mother, is a moon goddess and is often seen as the goddess of the sharks.  In many stories, she is instead Maui’s sister, or even his wife (but not also his mother).  I’ve gone with the mother angle in this story for consistency with the kidnapping of his wife, since the tale of how he meets Hina as his wife is very different and doesn’t fit well with this group of tales.  There’s a lot more to say about Maui, so he’ll be back in future episodes, and we’ll definitely see the courtship of Hina. 
  • Maui is probably the most famous character from Polynesian mythology, the more so since he appeared in Disney’s Moana.  The movie (which primarily uses the Samoan version of Maui) gets the story fairly accurate, although the main plot is an entirely new story.  Oddly, the figure of Hina is completely neglected, in spite of her prominence (or another goddess very much like her) in nearly every version of Maui’s story. 
  • I personally liked the movie, although there are definitely some problems with it (which other people have done a better job than I can of discussing), and at least it helps introduce the world to this amazing trickster god. 
  • What can I say except it’s time for Gods and Monsters?  This is a segment where I get into a little more detail about the personalities and history of one of the gods or monsters from this week’s pantheon that was not discussed in the main story.  This week’s monster is the Mo’o from Hawaiian mythology.  The word Mo’o mean “lizard god”, and is a pretty accurate description. 
  • The creatures were usually guardian spirits, protecting people, villages, and wild locations, especially where freshwater springs flowed, although in some stories, the creatures are malevolent and incredibly dangerous.  Most (though not every) depiction of the Mo’o is female and the tribes would often honor there local Mo’o in hopes that she would use her ability to manipulate the weather to help the tribe. Besides, if you pissed her off enough, she might summon a massive wave to sweep you off the trail, or drown you in a pit of poisonous phlegm (and isn’t that a terrible way to go).
  • The lizards, usually depicted as 35-30 feet long with shiny black scales could change shape, often to become beautiful, seductive women.  The only clues that you are near the pond of a mo’o is that the fish from the pond will taste very bitter, and the presence of foam on top of the water.  They can also be seen by the light of flames rising from altars erected in their honor, near the fish ponds.  In normal times, they spend their days eating the awa root, which can make them writhe from side to side.
  • In many stories, when a mo’o is slain, it’s body becomes a permanent part of the landscape.  The sinuous curves and twisting cliffs of the volcanic islands are seen as the fossilized bones of unlucky mo’o or those that pledged to guard a particular place, even after their death. 
  • To this day, fishermen hoping to catch hinalea fish in Wailua O’ahu, in Hawaii, will call upon the spirit of Kalamainu’u, a mo’o.  In the past, Kalamainu’u fell in love with a young chief who was out surfing the waves.  She took the form of a beautiful woman and walked out of the sea, tits out, to meet him.  He fell in love with her as well, and they were soon married.  They were happy, but not for long.  Her cousins, Hinalea and Aikolo, came to the young chief and revealed to him that his lovely, blushing bride was, in fact, a giant lizard monster. 
  • The chief was heartbroken, and abandoned Kalamainu’u.  Fucking pissed that her cousins had ruined her life without any real cause or justification other than being dicks, she went looking for them.  They feared her wrath, and turned into tropical fish and swam down into a crack in the sea floor.  Unwilling to let this get in the way of her completely justified anger, she wove the first fishing net trap and used it to capture the pieces of shit that had betrayed her.  As a goodbye to the chief she still loved, she gave him the fishing net so that his people would have an abundance of food.  Though he is long dead, she pines for him still.  If you ask her nicely, she will drive the hinalea, the fish that her asshole cousins turned in to when they tried to escape, into your nets.

That’s it for this episode of Myth Your Teacher Hated.  Keep up with new episodes on our Facebook page, on iTunes, on Stitcher or on TuneIn, or you can follow us on Twitter as @HardcoreMyth.  You can also find news and episodes on our website at myths your teacher hated dot com.  If you like what you’ve heard, I’d appreciate a review on iTunes.  These reviews really help increase the show’s standing and let more people know it exists.  I want to give a special thanks to Mrich 616 for the review on iTunes and Z_Designer on Reddit for the feedback.  If you have any questions, any gods or monsters you’d want to learn about, or any ideas for future stories that you’d like to hear, feel free to drop me a line.  I’m trying to pull as much material from as many different cultures as possible, but there are all sorts of stories I’ve never heard, so suggestions are appreciated.  The theme music is by Tiny Cheese Puff, whom you can find on fiverr.com.

Next time, we’ll be keeping with the theme of stories that Disney sanitized.  It’s the story of Sleeping Beauty, or rather, one of the earlier tales that inspired it.  As you probably know by now, this story is not going to be nearly as romantic as the Disney version, so prepare to have your childhood ruined a little.  You’ll learn that Prince Charming was anything but, that splinters can be murder, and that evil queens used to be a lot more evil and also a lot more justified.  Then, in Gods and Monsters, it’s an Italian goat woman who might be smarter than you.  That’s all for now.  Thanks for listening.